Funny Quotes / Friends

Everyone has a friend who laughs funnier than he jokes.

Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends.

We all have that one friend who always gives the best relationship advice but is still single.

Good friends will mourn your death; best friends will come and clean your computer history immediately after you die.

You’re the friend I’d feel the worst about killing in a post apocalyptic death match for food.

My friends and I are crazy. That’s the only thing that keeps us sane.

Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warm feeling inside.

God made us best friends because he knew our moms couldn’t handle us as sisters.

Studying means 10% reading and 90% complaining to your friends that you have to study.

Real friendship is when your friend comes over to your house and then you both just take a nap.

Friendship is not about people who act true to your face. It’s about people who remain true behind your back.

Nothing compares to the stomach ache you get from laughing with friends.

It’s the friends you can call up at 4 AM that matter.

I don’t know what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendship.

We’ll be friends forever because you already know too much.

Having those weird conversations with your friends and thinking if anyone heard you talking, they’d put you in a mental hospital.

She is my best friend, you break her heart; I’ll break your face.

Friends are like rainbows, always there to cheer you up after a storm.

We’ll be old ladies causing trouble in the nursing homes.

Good friends talk about their sex lives. Best friends talk about poop.

Good friends offer a shoulder when you need to cry. Best friends are there with a shovel to beat up who made you cry.

You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend, but it helps.

We all have that one friend who needs to learn how to whisper.

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.

If you are lucky enough to find a weirdo never let them go.

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad

Yes, she’s annoying but I love her.

You will never realize how wired your friends are until you start to describe them to someone else.

An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body.

We’ll be friends til we’re old and senile… Then we’ll be new friends.