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I didn’t marry you for money, for position, because I had to or due to a lack of options. I married you for one pure and selfish reason: because I thought doing so would make me the happiest man in existence. Good job I was right! Happy Birthday from your besotted husband.

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If Apple made a car, would it have Windows?

The more I C, the less I see.

My mom actually believes I'm dating a girl named Siri.

A good girlfriend saves atleast 20 GB of space on your computers.

I don't have a bad handwriting, I have my own font.

If I went binary, you would be the '1' for me.